The Third Best Thing My Parents Ever Gave Me

Was my first car....a green 1996 Toyota Avalon. That was in 2003 and I needed a car for the summer to get me to and from my job at the newly opened Ikea in College Park. The car wasn't anything particularly special at the time. I just needed something to get me from point A to point B.

Driving the car yesterday to the dealership where I would eventually trade her in, nostalgia started to kick in. I didn't realize until then how many memories were made in that car. Long drives to Boston and back. Spontaneous trips to Philly for Pat's cheesesteaks. Converstions, tow trucks, parking tickets, friendships, heartbreaks, and those sing to the top of your lungs because no one else can hear you type of moments.

At the very instant that my new car was pulled up next to the Avalon, I thought "how fitting that I'm trading this car in now". It's almost as if some higher power was telling me to move on...to grow up and finally stop yearning for that time in my life when I didn't have any responsibilities. I could almost hear the Avalon say, "Yes, it's time...it's time for you to have a car payment. And yes, you also now have mortgage payments. And yes, you are also about to get married."

In the midst of this very busy summer and the past two years that have passed by so quickly, time stood still as I handed over the keys. I was taking a step over an imaginary line towards the next phase of my life. I took one last look back...smiled, cried, and laughed inside...and drove off (into the sunset of course) with the new car.

Me and my Avalon. 2003 - 2010 =)

The Best Indication That I'm Going Through Hard Times

Is through my hair.

To the best of my knowledge, the only time I ever do something drastic to my hair is when I'm going through something sad and emotional. If I chopped my hair down to a bob, that probably means I just went through a break up. See me around with highlights? I might not be that happy with how my career is going.

Partaking in the the latest and greatest Asian hair trend...the digiperm...I'm not quite sure what to make of it. Post-house purchase buyer's remorse? Sad that I don't have a legally driveable car? Or perhaps, with such a "permanent" change, it's something more.

Well, nothing is permanent. It'll grow out...

In the meantime, I actually kind of...like it =)

My Secret to Happiness

I'm all about me....and it probably seems that way at least that's the way my online persona looks. And I admit,I was very much all about my life. Focusing on all its imperfections and what it lacked. I'd focus on how others did me wrong. How unfairly I was treated at home, at work, and everywhere else in between. I was miserable, unappreciative, jealous of others, and always seeking for more and more and more.

There is nothing more disheartening than seeing someone who take their life for granted. And I'm talking about taking it for granted in the most simple sense (not like some prodigy kid who got hooked on drugs and is now homeless). Imagine that at my early twenties, I was making decent money, driving a working car, working for the government, and making a decent living. I had family and friends that genuinely cared for my well being. I could go to the mall to pick out a new clubbing outfit for the weekend. I could meet up for happy hour at any day of the week...Yet I had the nerve to allow ONE thing that I lacked (a boyfriend) to consume me.

Thankfully, we are given the gift of hindsight and memory. Had I forgotten those experiences, I wouldn't have been able to look back today and realize how ridiculous I was back then. It seems, that as time goes by, my solution to finally stop disrespecting my life was to simply snap out of it and focus on something else...focus on being good to other people...appreciate the things that aren't so bad in my life. Do I sound cliche yet?...'cause I'm gonna keep going ... =)

I couldn't really define happiness for you. I don't know what perfect means. Yes, I know I keep on putting up posts about how awesome Joe is and you might even think that we have the ideal relationship. Our relationship...my life...is still a work in progress. I still complain...but when the complaining gets really bad, I slap myself in the face (sometimes even literally). I think about all the things that I have, and I move on. Is it really that bad that I still don't own a classic Chanel flap bag in caviar leather? Is it really that bad I'm not driving an awesome car?

All I'm trying to say is...
Focus on the good, focus on being good to others, and after a while, you might actually start feeling...

Happy

and if that still doesn't work, I think you just might have to shell out some money and buy yourself a ticket to a third world country.

It's The Little Things

...that matter and I am happy to say that my fiance has perfected (well...almost =) this very concept. From the simplest gesture of writing a note on my coffee cup to the day that he proposed - he has - some way or another managed to veer away from romatic cliche. I suppose I can only describe his approach as - "So us" =)





So, as I happily stare at the beautiful ring he so carefully picked out, I bring back an oldie but goody blog post I wrote back when we were still in our "honemoon" phase =) Reading it now, I am amazed at how much we've grown together...and how some things have remained exactly the same! lol

...and just so no one reads this and decides to take away Joe's man-card, I should let it be known that he recently made a trip to Home Depot and purchased some really manly power tools.

Xanga Post Date Jated January 24, 2006


...I wanna type some stuff about me and Mr. Green. (I refer to him as that because he often wears this bright green Polo shirt and there's no point in using his name because most of you don't know him anway.) So I met him a few times but we never talked until..... My roomate had her boyfriend and his friends at our house to play poker and drink. Alcohol always has a good way of breaking the ice with people. He was shy and never talked to me but after a couple of beers we were sitting side to side on the poker table while he let me carelessly gamble HIS money away. By the end of the night I was puking in the trashcan next to my bed and he was right there rubbing my back for, what he claimed to be, at LEAST two hours....and being the gentleman that he was, he cleaned my mess and slept on the couch next to my room to make sure that I was okay.



For someone who had been single for more than year and enjoyedevery minute of it, I wasn't all that excited about meeting him. 1) I was embarassed from my little drunken episode. 2) I was going through a phase where I didn't want to try to look nice for anyone so I avoided dates and meeting guys. 3) He met three of my 'never date' criterias: Smoker, Gambler, and.....Non-Catholic. But he took care of me so I gave it a chance



The first time we hung out I picked out everything that I didn't like about him. From his haircut to the way he talked. At one point he tried to calm me down from being frustrated at Papa Johns for taking 2 hrs to deliver....I felt like he was talking to me like a child and I hated it. So when he tried to casually put his arm around me while we were watching the DVD, I sat up so that he couldn't. For a couple more weeks after that, I repeatedly told myself how much I didn't like him. But he was too nice and too sweet.....and I knew that I had no real excuse to stop seeing him.



It's crazy though how different we are from each other. The way I would interpret something is different from how he would and that usually has put us in some interesting dialogues. His lax personality balances mine...because I worry alot...I think ahead...I have to bullet everything. I like social functions while he's more low key. He spoils me with sweet little gestures like making me coffee (extra sweet and creamy just how I like it) before heading out to work. I spoil him by buying him things, which I haven't done since my first serious relationship where I learned never to do that again...but I'm a sucker for his dimples, his forehand swing, and the fact that he can actually play basketball...and so I can't help but see him get all giddy about getting something he wants.



Supposedly, I'm the complete opposite of girls he usually dates. I wear sneakers and according to him, he's never dated a girl that did....more low key like him...and most definitely not nearly as hot and beautiful (ha-ha) But who knows if that's really true. Another difference is that I know nothing about his past relationships because he doens't wanna tell me....nor does he want to know my past. He doesn't like dwelling on the past and he doesn't like thinking too ahead in the future. He's all about right now. I'm not reallly too sold on that concept. I still think the past shapes who we are today and I still beleive in having at least somewhat of a plan for the future. The good thing is that there's no pressure for either one of us to change....okay, I lied...except for the smoking thing........aaaaand the gambling thing.........and on my end, the drinking thing.



From the beginning I always busted on him. It took him a little while to get comfortable but once he did, he hasn't stopped dishing the insults. But I take it 'cause I can usually come up with a good comeback...... I mean, yea okay, I've been putting on a coule of pounds...only to get down to his level of attractiveness...so you know, people won't wonder so much why a girl like me would ever date a guy like him



Perhaps the most noticeable difference is his cleanliness to my messiness. He has some sort of OCD 'cause he can't leave his room or go to sleep without making sure his room is in order. He lines up everything on his desk, clears his couch, and folds all his clothes. A few times i've gotten frustrated 'cause I can never find any of my things in there. Once he made me clean my car because he says he can't stand being in it...but I didn't wanna clean it so he just ended up doing it anyway....and the other day I felt like being lectured by my mom after he found that I just stuck all my mess in the trunk.



So no message here. I have no summaries. There's my babble for the night because I just really wanted to write all that.....that I've found that sort of hapiness in the most unusual place; from someone completely different from me and completely different from what I thought I wanted....
...and I miss him already.

Our First Fight

...in our new house wasn't a big surprise to me. Standing in the master bedroom which has yet to even be drywalled, I looked in our closed and sighed. There just didn't seem to be enough space. So I indicated to Joe that I would need about 3/4 of the closet and that he can simply live with the rest.

At that exact moment, Joe gave me the look (dun-dun-dun)...followed by endless rants about how I need to throw away some of my clothes...yada yada yada......yada. Honestly, I blocked most of it out. Every year, I go through a closet purge and every year, I end up wanting to wear an outfit which I can't find because I'm convinced that Joe made me throw it away the previous year. I had had enough. I was standing my ground! I said, "No, I'm taking 3/4 of the closet. Take your 30 polo shirts and throw those away! Whachu think about that?". Alright so it didn't really happen that way. I, in turn, gave him MY LOOk right back.

We walk out of the room in silence...shooting angry vibes at each other. I'm not gonna lie, those silent angry shots sometimes hurt more than actual words. Alas, I knew exactly how to end the fight. I forced a tear and let him see it. I tried to force out one of those ugly cries that I do but my face just wasn't cooperating with me that day. At least with Joe, one tear was enough. Bless his heart, it still gets him every time.

Fight over.

Ok, I lied again. I can't really force my tears, they literally just come gushing out of nowhere. In the end, we really didn't come to any sort of resolution. Any relationship expert would probably think that we have serious communication issues. Shooting angry vibes at each other? what? we probably need therapy. In all honesty, an issue like this doesn't really warrant a fight. Save your energy on more important issues. How easily could that small argument turn into something bigger where we're all of sudden shouting things like "You suck! Why am I with you?" LOL. Don't deny, I'm sure it's happened to you too. It's ok to stand your ground when your values are truly being challenged. When it comes to something like closet space, give yourself 5 minutes to be sour and be done with it.

The end.

The real estate plug: In a new construction home, frequent the site and take notes of the progress. During that visit, we noticed that they had framed the 3rd bedroom incorrectly. Rather than a bedroom, they framed it as a loft. No bueno for resale. Noted and sent email to construction manager before it was too late in the construction phase to do anything about it.

The fashion plug: Does the mention of my yearly closet purge count? It really is important to go through your closet every year. You want to avoid keeping pieces that you're never going to wear... like that sheer leopard print top from Target that I got last year...what was I thinking??

This Blog Needs a Focus

Sorry blog. I've neglected you. This isn't really the old xanga days anymore where I can just rehash my day...my weekend...or every detail of I've been up to lately because we have the facebook "status" for that now. So what is your purpose really? So a few ideas off the top of my head:

1) Relationship blog - Seems that out of all my xanga entries back in college, the ones where I openly talked about my relationship issues got the most hits. Alas, I'm not in college anymore and divulging personal details of that aspect of my life might not go so well with Joe. Not to mention that after 4 plus years, I can't say that my love life is THAT exciting. But perhaps I can still offer some nuggets of knowledge without revealing too much? I don't know...i'll have to think about this one.

2) Deals and Steals blog - Who doesn't love a good deal right? It used to feel like such a triumph to find a sale on something that I had been eyeing a while. I even posted (shamelessly) my "outfit of the day" on the purseblog (don't all laugh at once) and detailed how little I spent on an outfit. I think I my record was $20 head to toe? But let's face it. My colorful closet somehow transitioned to black, white, and grey pieces as I subconsiously took Joe's "are you really going to wear that??" comments to heart. It didn't help that our closet size shrank to half of what we used to have. And to add to that, my recent weight gain hasn't made it too much fun to go shopping anyway. Darn. There goes the deals and steals idea...

3) Real Estate blog - Ok, I'm not an expert or anything. But I did always consider that if I weren't an engineer, perhaps I could be a real estate agent on the side. After all, I spend alot of my free time looking at new apartments to rent (I move to a new apartment every year) and as of late, houses and condos. Even now that we've already purchased a place, I still can't stop looking. I'm a stickler for details and over-research/study whatever I happen to be interested at the time. Even our builder's agent said I'm their most "consciencious" buyer (what she really means is that I'm her most annoying buyer). So this could work no? Maybe? Possibly?

How about let's just marry the three. I'll write about what I'm wearing whenever I go to open houses? Or detail the disagreements Joe and I had during our house search?

ayayay...

The Paradigm Shift of Toyota's Reputation

Darn...since I used such a big work on the title, do I have to make this a serious and profound blog entry? naaahhh...

I just thought I'd share an observation when I landed in Boston Logan Airport the other day -

As usual, I took the National Rental Car shuttle to their lot. Because I'm in their frequent traveler program, the shuttle drops you off in this lot where you can just pick your car and drive off without having to go in their office to do paperwork. Because I got in pretty late, I figured that all the "good" cars would be gone. And by "good" cars, I mean all the Toyota models and other types of SUVs and Crossovers. To my surprise, I found that a handful of Toyotas remained in the almost empty lot. As I walked towards one of the Toyota cars (I usually pick these because I hate how American models put the gas cap on the right side of their cars), I decided to turn the other way and go for the oh so cute(ugly) PT Cruiser.


The end.